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Combined with unprecedented easy access to the unreal world of Internet porn, the result is a situation that has drastically affected gender roles for young people.
Speaking to a variety of teenaged boys and girls across the country, Nancy Jo Sales uncovers a world where boys are taught they have the right to expect everything from social submission to outright sex from their female peers. THE TINDER GUYShe wanted it to be like the scene in the Lana Del Rey video for “Blue Jeans”—“hot and slow and epic.” The scene where strangers meet and fall into an easy intimacy, making love in a pool—“and they look so hot and it’s just, like, totally epic.” A boy at her school—she didn’t want to talk about him now; he’d broken her heart; but “like, whatever.” She’d “deleted him” from her phone. There was something different about his face—it was “squishier. She was sorry she’d spent so much time getting ready for this. He wanted her to get in his car, but she knew she shouldn’t.
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“I was stalking him too much, seeing him doing fun things on Instagram, and it hurt.”They’d been instant-messaging on Facebook, and one night he told her he loved her. Like, he was almost fat.” But now here they were, and she didn’t know quite how to get out of it. They started walking around the mall, “talking about nothing, nothing.
WEST PALM BEACH, FL – FEBRUARY 14: Karen Brown (L) and Douglas Brown hold hands as they are wed during a group Valentine’s day wedding at the National Croquet Center on February 14, 2013 in West Palm Beach, Florida.
”—she decided she had to “lose it to someone,” so why not with someone she would never have to see again? “Sometimes I just want to talk to a guy so bad.” So she downloaded the app and started swiping through the pictures of boys in her area. ”They arranged to rendezvous at a shopping mall in Los Angeles not far from the neighborhood where they lived. And if it turned out he was really some gross old man, I’d just run away.” But there he was, standing by his car, looking almost like his picture. Later she posted something on her Tumblr blog about the difficulty of finding love.
And yet, she hoped it would somehow be like the Lana Del Rey song. The guy she was supposed to meet that day—the guy from Tinder, the dating app kids were using to hook up—“I know, like, five guys who’ve done it; girls use it too, but they pretend like they don’t”—he was cute and had tattoos on his arms. She “hearted” his picture, and within a few minutes he had hearted hers, and then they were instantly texting.“Ur hot,” he wrote. WHEELING IN THE BITCHES“Gotta wheel the bitches in.
Read on to see the 20 awesome dating apps that made our list.
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Bloggers like Maverick Traveler will help you spot the “8 Signs of a Slutty Couch Surfer Girl” by decoding her profile, and female-centric advice site You Queen has even offered tips on “How to Use Couch Surfing as a Dating Site and Get Away with It.” Meanwhile, a site called Couch Bangs.com, which declares that “Couchsurfing isn’t just for Couchsurfing,” offers a forum for proud couch-cuddlers to share their experiences via short posts with titles like “French Girl in Istanbul” and “Brazilian Girl in New York.” Couch Surfing’s Community Guidelines explicitly warn against contacting other members for dating, noting, “we will consider this harassment” — albeit without stipulating what the penalties are for violating this rule.